Tonight at the laundromat, there was a boy with his mother. To kill time they played a game. The boy was by misfortune always loosing. He got terribly upset every time he lost and started crying in the end, not wanting to play the game anymore. He reminded me a lot of myself when I was younger. I couldn't stand playing a game and losing. Later I discovered the joy of playing without needing to win. Indeed some of my favorite game I do not recall winning (among them Bohnanza and the settler card game). One of the best game nights I've ever spent with friends was playing a game that could not be won at all (100 blank white card). One day this boy will hopefully learn the joy of playing to play, not playing to win.

Transposing this to my recent experience in life makes a lot of sense. I started doing research because I liked research. I went abroad to do more research and learn more because I enjoyed it that much. I got caught in a climate of wanting to succeed and wanting to build up a career. Pursuing the latter only led to frustration and despair. I started to hate research. I've now refocused, re-discovered my joy in doing research. I feel better more relaxed, more motivated and thus will more likely succeed. Whenever I get caught wanting to win, I hope I remember the lesson I learned from the boy at the laundromat: Play to play, not to win.